I’m baaaaack b*tches!


meshawtyIts been a long while but I am back.

And while I don’t really know where I want to go with this blog, I’m making a committment to blog every month. (It took me 4 goes to just type that statement- geez)

I will admit that looking back at my blog I realized I’m a pretty damn good blogger and I missed it. I miss just sharing the things that I’ve learned, experiences that I’ve had with you all. So…. lemme bring you up to speed in a flash.

10 things you should know

  1. still love Rih-Rih
  2. me1this is what I look like now… a little different huh? I lost like 90 lbs.
  3. I can climb a pole alllllll the way to the top… Yessss ma’m!
  4. I no longer watch ratchet tv… or tv at all really for that matter
  5. I believe in feelings now 🙂
  6. I have zero interest in acquiring more formal education – as a matter of fact I’ve learned more outside of college than I ever learned in college.
  7. I still love dresses
  8. I still live in Atlanta
  9. I enjoy juicing on a regular basis now
  10. This blog is still about everything… but more importantly… personal development



Too Old to be a Groupie


Okay…. never in my life did I think I’d be as old as I am with a serious artist addiction.

*Hangs head in shame*

But, I *places hand over chest*, Jamillian Mogul Monroe, am a huge Rihanna fan. *Opens one eye to see if anything happens* rihanna

Honestly, I don’t know how this happened. Or when. All I know I know is that I literally feel my heart swelling with love everytime I hear her music. Who knew music could MOVE you like that?

I decided to play Rihanna radio on my Pandora and realized this addiction is bad. I never get tired of listening to her songs! “I just shot a man down, Pon De Replay, Talk that Talk, Photographs, Diamonds, Pour It Up, Whats My Name, Rude Boy”… I could go on forever, well not literally but… you know.

I know most young women my age as still part of the Beehive, the force known as Beyonce. Don’t get me wrong, Beyonce is a amazing performer…. but no matter what Beyonce sings or does, it always sounds like R&B.rihbey

Rihanna on the other hand can sing any genre from pop, reggae, rock, r&b, alternative ANYTHING. There have been times that I’ve heard her music in department stores and didn’t even realize it was her until later. What Rihanna lacks in performance ability she makes up for in VERSATILITY! 

Because my daughter is an avid groupie of the group One Direction, I recognize all the symptoms of groupie-ism. I wasn’t fully prepared to accept that as my official label until I realized that my newest hair ventures involve cutting my hair to look like her. Then, just the other day, I thought what if my 30th birthday party was a Rihanna party, with her songs playing all night?! -_- Yeah…. its bad.

Again, I *hang my head in shame*

Day 2, Pole Dance Class.


Last night, I abandoned my 2 children and my man to go to the dance studio for classes. Ordinarily, I would only be interested in pole class, but they were offering a free ballet class so, I thought “Is ballet only for skinny tall white girls with long necks? No, its 2013 all sizes welcome!” and whisked my large, short, brown, mommy of 2 self on in.

Fortunately there was only ONE other person in the class, so that made me really comfortable. Anyhow, took the class, enjoyed it and then proceeded to wait for the pole class to begin.

The class that I’m taking is at Vertical Joe’s Fitness Studio in Atlanta. I decided to take it because of the owner, Fiya Starta. I saw her on a video a couple years ago spinning on a pole upside down and thought, “Wow, she’s amazing… I could so totally do that”. Riiiiight, now 2 years later I’m in her class looking crazy.

I’ve been a little coy about the class and all because after taking my first class I realized this &$%@ is hard! Its no joke out here on the pole. I’m from Atlanta and been to a fair share of strip clubs and these women make it look amazing and easy! They prance around in their heels, climb the poles effortlessly and make it look sexy at the same damn time. After taking my first class, I wanted to slap all of the women I’ve seen at the strip club for making me think it would be as easy as heating up hot dogs.

But, sometime last year I really DECIDED that before I turned 30 years old, I would, ONCE AND FOR ALL, lose weight and climb a stripper pole to the top.

So, last night was day 2 on this OFFICIAL adventure….

Actually, last night was much better than the first few times I worked with a pole. Usually trying to mount the pole is like a mini fight. I usually come out feeling like Ive accomplished something, but I’ve banged up a shin or elbow in the process, so I come out needing ice and a hug. This time around however, other than the pain in my ‘pole meat’ as Ms. Joe calls it, which is the fat part in between your legs used to grip the pole, I felt pretty darn good! I was actually able to do my spins successfully, a pass out, basic spin and a basic slide. And, I think I ALMOST climbed an INCH!

Whooooo-hooooooooooo! Can you tell them dancers at Magic City and Onyx to watch out?!


So back to class again on Wednesday. I may need like 232489734792834 more classes, but I have taken 2 OFFICIAL classes think I will be able to conquer this thing by August!

Journey to 30!!!!!!


Its finally here. The year of 30. 

What’s the big deal about 30 anyways? Is it just as significant as EVERY number when you count by 10’s? 

So, last year I decided I would throw a 30th birthday party. That party was to take place the weekend of August 24th 2013. However, it looks like that won’t happen since my planning is taking place ‘last minute’. 

Instead, I’ve decided to give my focus to other very important things. And for your reading pleasure, I’ve decided to list them here.

1. Climb to the top of a stripper pole.

2. Beat someone’s ass through extensive karate/kickboxing training.

3. Buy a gun and learn how to shoot said gun.

4. Spend thousands of dollars taking my 4 kids to the Bahamas.

5. Lose about 30 more lbs so that I can look better than all the bitches at my class reunion.

I have other things on this list, but I will post as time goes along. 


How Do You Define Success??



Not too long ago, I would define success very plain and simple: beautiful house, handsome partner, good job, decent salary, higher education, well behaved kids <— Simple right?

Now? I believe its even more simple for me. Just finding your soulmate and making the money that affords the lifestyle you want to live, whatever that may be.


Almost a year later and I still totally agree with my above statement.

For me now, success is as simple as finding someone that makes your soul totally and completely happy and being able to do what the hell you want. Being an entrepreneur and have a freedom mind frame has unlocked the shackles on my way of thinking about earning income and ‘work’. Instead of aiming to get a job or to run a business, I am now aiming to be a successful business owner or more than one market. I would ultimately like to run my business hands free, like a wireless headset! Working 4hours a week at max and living my life WHEREVER I want. THAT for me, would be success.

Judge Not, Lest Ye Be Judged. Coming Clean.


Oftentimes in life, I wonder if any information I’ve revealed about myself can come back to haunt me. Ya know, in that Herman Cain/Bill Clinton sort of way???
Probably not.
But- maybe what I am about to say can invoke some serious feelings of disgust or some other nasty emotion. I don’t know, but I figure since this blog is all about me, I should feel free to lay it all out there on the table.
So, I would like to come clean about my relationship (s).
Yes- (s) <—– don’t let that get past ya.
I have been dating a guy for the past two years. Since July 2009. However, I’ve been married to another guy since 2004. (Insert Evil music Here)
Before you get ready to spit, knash your teeth, foam at the mouth, have a seizure do whatever you do when you hear something like that, just know I’ve been ready to sign those papers for years! My ex just refuses to let the relationship end on paper. Its ridiculous!

What is even more ridiculous about this whole ordeal is that we are about to enter year 2012!

Honestly, I never meant to let this marriage drag on as long as it has. When I ended things with my husband in March of 2009, he went through a series of emotions and it was horrible to see him hurting the way he was about our inevitable breakup.

Nutritional Rebirth, yawn.


ImageSooo, alot has happened in the past few months. Not only have I had my first surgical operation (getting my gallbladder removed) but I’ve lost 30lbs and am on my way to losing the rest of excess weight that is weighing down my short frame. In case you don’t know I weigh a whopping 196lbs, but a few months back I was standing strong at 225lbs. As disturbing as that is, whats even more disturbing is the hopelessness I felt in being able to change my situation without assistance. I mean, I’ve dieted hundreds, thousands of times before and its worked. Then not too long after, I gain it all back. Smh.

Anyhow, I have been going through a kind of nutritional rebirth. Rebirth you say? Yes, rebirth. I made the ‘mistake’ of watching a documentary on netflix that really, really, REALLY started opening my eyes to what I put in my mouth. It dealt with the whole juicing trend thats going on and got me interested. But then, I took it a step further when I decided to watch another documentary called “Forks over Knives”. Lord, if it didn’t get me looking at meat with the *side eye*.

I mean, lets just be clear I am not a healthy sort of person. That sounds strange reading it. It sounds even stranger when I say it. But its the truth! I am not a healthy-eating-glutenfree-veggie/fruit-nutrient-cooking person. I’m not! I am the traditional west indian/southern aloe pie, pallourhie, roti, rice and peas, biscuit hot wing eat’n, sweet potato, cornbread, fried tilapia loving, fries and grill hotdogs craving fat ass big girl in the south. Dont judge me. Lol.

Just thinking about people who are vegan and vegetarian gives me a certain sense of sympathy that I want to extend to their children. Its not as if I am ignorant about vegetarian lifestyles or vegetarian diets. My uncle’s wife has been a vegetarian for over 20 years and she has raised her children that way. It is important to note that now all of her 5 children are meat eating carnivores. But more important to note that I HATED going over to my uncles house because I was always hungry over there! It was like NOTHING she ever made gave me the feeling of fullness that I experienced when eating meat. Chile boo, pass me some wings please!

So needless to say, in my adult life I’ve never really given much thought to living a meat-free lifestyle. I’ve never thought it was quirky or cool to go without meat. Vegans have always just seemed like extremists to me. And quite frankly they’ve always seemed very self righteous as though by not eating meat they now were ‘better’ than us lowly meat eaters.

Additionally, alot of black folk who are vegetarians seem to buy into a certain kind of lifestyle. As if by wearing skirt and head wraps and renaming yourself and wearing natural oils and eating curry popcorn with nutritional yeast and going to african dance class are all just a natural part of being a black vegetarian and uhhhhh THAT is just not me.

I am the non spiritual non african centered non head wrap sort of chick. I like weave, fake nails, heavy makeup, reality tv, dancing like it’ll be my last dance, popping my gum and talking loud. Thats me! *Ding, ding ding!

Soooo, having said ALLLL of that. The fact that I’d even CONSIDER an alterior way of eating? Thats a sign…. of something. Exactly what that something is… I couldn’t tell you just now. BUT, its really baffling me. After watching that last documentary, I’m almost AFRAID to eat a piece of meat! It gives me the heebee jeebies just thinking about it. As a result, I’ve started cooking a lil different. I made ziti with mozarella and a meatless sausage with broccoli, cabbage and carrots tonight. Yesterday we had split pea soup, bbq tofu and broccoli. I’ve made veggie burgers the night before last. And uhhhh, yeah I feel like Im heading in this direction AGAINST MY WILL in a way. Smh. I even started buying green juice for my kids to drink and I bought a juicer for myself.

The change has begun.


I just wanted to give yall a heads up. Im morphing and I cant stop.

That tis all.