Sooo, alot has happened in the past few months. Not only have I had my first surgical operation (getting my gallbladder removed) but I’ve lost 30lbs and am on my way to losing the rest of excess weight that is weighing down my short frame. In case you don’t know I weigh a whopping 196lbs, but a few months back I was standing strong at 225lbs. As disturbing as that is, whats even more disturbing is the hopelessness I felt in being able to change my situation without assistance. I mean, I’ve dieted hundreds, thousands of times before and its worked. Then not too long after, I gain it all back. Smh.
Anyhow, I have been going through a kind of nutritional rebirth. Rebirth you say? Yes, rebirth. I made the ‘mistake’ of watching a documentary on netflix that really, really, REALLY started opening my eyes to what I put in my mouth. It dealt with the whole juicing trend thats going on and got me interested. But then, I took it a step further when I decided to watch another documentary called “Forks over Knives”. Lord, if it didn’t get me looking at meat with the *side eye*.
I mean, lets just be clear I am not a healthy sort of person. That sounds strange reading it. It sounds even stranger when I say it. But its the truth! I am not a healthy-eating-glutenfree-veggie/fruit-nutrient-cooking person. I’m not! I am the traditional west indian/southern aloe pie, pallourhie, roti, rice and peas, biscuit hot wing eat’n, sweet potato, cornbread, fried tilapia loving, fries and grill hotdogs craving fat ass big girl in the south. Dont judge me. Lol.
Just thinking about people who are vegan and vegetarian gives me a certain sense of sympathy that I want to extend to their children. Its not as if I am ignorant about vegetarian lifestyles or vegetarian diets. My uncle’s wife has been a vegetarian for over 20 years and she has raised her children that way. It is important to note that now all of her 5 children are meat eating carnivores. But more important to note that I HATED going over to my uncles house because I was always hungry over there! It was like NOTHING she ever made gave me the feeling of fullness that I experienced when eating meat. Chile boo, pass me some wings please!
So needless to say, in my adult life I’ve never really given much thought to living a meat-free lifestyle. I’ve never thought it was quirky or cool to go without meat. Vegans have always just seemed like extremists to me. And quite frankly they’ve always seemed very self righteous as though by not eating meat they now were ‘better’ than us lowly meat eaters.
Additionally, alot of black folk who are vegetarians seem to buy into a certain kind of lifestyle. As if by wearing skirt and head wraps and renaming yourself and wearing natural oils and eating curry popcorn with nutritional yeast and going to african dance class are all just a natural part of being a black vegetarian and uhhhhh THAT is just not me.
I am the non spiritual non african centered non head wrap sort of chick. I like weave, fake nails, heavy makeup, reality tv, dancing like it’ll be my last dance, popping my gum and talking loud. Thats me! *Ding, ding ding!
Soooo, having said ALLLL of that. The fact that I’d even CONSIDER an alterior way of eating? Thats a sign…. of something. Exactly what that something is… I couldn’t tell you just now. BUT, its really baffling me. After watching that last documentary, I’m almost AFRAID to eat a piece of meat! It gives me the heebee jeebies just thinking about it. As a result, I’ve started cooking a lil different. I made ziti with mozarella and a meatless sausage with broccoli, cabbage and carrots tonight. Yesterday we had split pea soup, bbq tofu and broccoli. I’ve made veggie burgers the night before last. And uhhhh, yeah I feel like Im heading in this direction AGAINST MY WILL in a way. Smh. I even started buying green juice for my kids to drink and I bought a juicer for myself.
The change has begun.
I just wanted to give yall a heads up. Im morphing and I cant stop.
That tis all.