Still getting a Bachelors? At 30? C’mon now.

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Now, while I am understanding when it comes to the desire for one to pursue higher education. I am truly not in support of grown folks who are trying to pimp the system.


There are entirely TOO MANY adults who are still dependents and using school as the excuse. C’mon Now!
If you are pushing 30 and you are still trying to utilize your parents medical benefits claiming student status. Stop. C’mon now!
If you have been to a total of 5 colleges in ten years. C’mon now!
If you still don’t REALLY know what you want to do in life. C’mon now!

I could go on and on…. but I will stop while I’m ahead and just say Come On Now and get a job. Start your career and stop playing with your finances.

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What To Blog About?

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Hey! So its been forever.org since I’ve written a blog. I really actually love this blog page! So, why haven’t i been blogging? Well, its definitely not because I hate the page.  Writing has always come easy for me… mostly so its not that either.
I realize the reason I stopped blogging was because of what someone said.
I asked her to check out my blog and let me know if she thinks its good. She did and told me it was okay, but that my topics were all over the place. She suggested that I found ONE topic and stuck with it since I’m not supposed to blog about EVERYTHING.
Make sense right?
Duh, why didn’t I think of that! Lol.
Soooooo….. what will be the primary focus of my blog henceforth?
(Drum Roll please)
Losingweighthairnaturalskidsmarriagemotherhoodgraduation!!!!
Yay!
It was hard work but I narrowed it down ya’ll!!!
No seriously, this blog will now OFFICIALLY (mostly) chronicle my weight loss adventure.

>Insert bow<

Thank you!

Who Brings out The Best in You?

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One of the most unique questions I’ve thought about in a while.

Well, my first mind would challenge me to think about what the ‘best’ me actually is. The best me is the me that is comfortable in her own skin. The me that is okay with being the naturally loud person I am. The me that is all accepting of everyone around me. The me that is comfortable saying how I feel. She’s the me that I hate to suppress because strangers are around and she needs to be the professional me. She’s the me that likes to meet and talk to new people. While I am outgoing and sociable, I have often been very snide and apathetic. Its weird.  I can cut people off, very easily and quickly, I am not a romantic, but a realist and I don’t believe in feelings. I don’t give hugs and I don’t clean unless I feel like it.

So, the question is…. Who Brings out the Best in Me?

It certainly isn’t my mother. Lol. Or my children. Or significant other.

Bringing out the best in a person is sooooo different from being a good friend. Right? A good friend listens to you when you are down and out, the person who brings out the best in you affects you so that you can get back up and running. A good friend allows you to be you. The person who brings out the best in you encourages you to be a better you. Its different!

The person who brings out the best in me is someone who, before answering this question, I didn’t give much thought to the impact they had on me.

The award goes to…..(drum roll please)…. Tramela Cummings. She is always challenging some theory, notion or institution. Never lives her life IN the box, always outside the box. An advocate of all things midwife, childbirth, healing, love, peace, world, grass, LIFE! She’s the person that you want to talk with before you embark on a spiritual journey through some cave in India, she makes those types of things seem absolutely normal. But aside from her quirkiness, her being different and her outside the box beliefs, Tramela is a friend that Ive had since college who, for some STRANGE, WEIRD reason, always brings out the best in me.

Like I stated earlier, I don’t believe in feelings. But when she went through a bad breakup and cried at my apartment for a week, I found myself empathizing! Anyone who knows me, knows that I don’t empathize or sympathize well– if ever. She never judges others or gossips about people and when we talk I find myself accepting others a little better because of her ‘tramela rationalizations’. She recently came to town and I cleaned my daughter’s filthy room so she could sleep in there. Once again, these are things that I don’t jump to do until I am good and ready. (Don’t judge me). I cleaned the room so well, that my significant other was JEALOUS! The next day he asked me how come he couldn’t get that type of treatment. Lol. She’s a good friend, yeah. She has always encouraged me in my endeavors. Has always listened to my rants. And has ALWAYS ALWAYS challenged me to think outside the box…. to increase my consciousness.

But, being a good friend is different from bringing out the best in people around you.

She, appropriately, has re-named herself ‘Sunshine’ and in our friendship she is definitely a beacon of light.

Who Brings out the Best In You?

Identity Theft My A@#!

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In this economy… if you have a credit score that propels someone to steal your identity… you should be proud. Really. Matter fact, take a step back and give yourself a round of applause.

I went to a mixer the other night at the 755 Club in Atlanta, GA. Nothing special really. I mean-REALLY. I don’t think I really benefited from the mission of the networking event…. Just ate and drank for free.

At any rate, while mingling with two friends, an older gentleman approached our table- with the clear intent of doing some networking. You could tell he was not there for food and drinks. He formally introduced himself as Bill, a local Legal Aide representative and then asked us individually about our association. He explained that he was proud to be working for an organization that helped people with identity theft and that we should consider joining.

I didn’t even think twice about joining. I knew the answer was a flat out “Get the Hell Outta Here Bill, Me?”

Honestly, Maaaaaaaaaaan. If anybody is willing to go through the trouble of trying to steal MY IDENTITY?? Good luck to them, and great for me! I would love to meet the idiot who would be willing to go through the trouble of stealing my social security number, when I would give it to them with a lovely big basket of fruit for free!  They would have a loooong line of creditors and debt collectors banging at THEIR door.There would be farmers, peasants and laymen coming out of the woods with pitchforks and knives trying to collect!

Anyone who stole my identity and tried to open a new line of credit would have to cut a check up front just to get secured credit card. They may even get laughed off the phone by trying to do an over the phone application. My credit is so below the charts bad, I think I have a NEGATIVE credit score. Seriously! Pull my credit right now! It’s probaly -340. Seriously. In true Mr. T elegance, “I pity the fool who would try and steal my identity”.

My credit score is soooo bad, I would have to just pack up, run away from home, and steal someone ELSES DAMN identity just to try and redeem myself. There is no getting out of it. And even after that, the student loans would still come and try and get me. Student loans serve as the biggest tragedy to the human race!

And I don’t know why my credit is so down in the dumps!!! I mean aside from my 50k worth of student loans….. I only have a string of random small debt on there. An unpaid Verizon bill here, a SCANA energy bill there, a credit card bill when Capital One got me coming out of high school…. You know… Minor stuff!

The reality is Identity thieves know that my credit is whack. They have probably taken a peek at it and been tempted to send me a “Get Well” or “I’m Sorry” card to express their condolences. It’s just that bad.

So, for all intents and purposes… I could give a C@#!LT&E About Identity Theft!

~My name is Mz. Mocha Millionaire and I approve this message 🙂

If you could be involved in making a movie, would you rather act or direct?

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Hands down, I would act.

I actually would love to be an actress for real. Being an actress is one of those things where you should never really strive to do unless you are going to go HAAARRD. Actually, you shouldn’t even strive to do it unless you are going to go in with the 50 cent album title as your motto: Get Rich or Die Tryin. Seriously.

When I was eight, I was in a school play. I loved it. My drama teacher loved me. I was great. When I hit high school, I took drama. Loved it, hated my peers. Hated the teacher. Hated the whole school really. But I was still good in drama. Having said all of that, it is even more clear that I don’t have much grounds for launching a career in the already strapped field of acting.

While I still secretly fantasize about becoming an actress and making it big, I would do better to tell no one. Lest I be chased out of town by real actors and actresses with pitchforks and knives. Maybe if I took acting classes I could relieve myself of the fantasy and feel better about doing something that I loved to do in the past. To be continued…..

Eating Out Solo.

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Okay, this will sound really strange. Well, it won’t sound strange if you have read my other blogs and have a good idea of my quirkiness.

While my mother cooked and hosted my aunts, uncles, cousins, brother ex-husband and my kids….I spent this Thanksgiving alone. Yep, I skipped a major family event and chose instead to go to Golden Corral. Solo.

While I wasn’t in the mood to ‘celebrate’ Thanksgiving, I didn’t want to miss the opportunity to eat a good meal that included turkey and stuffing. So when I saw the commercial advertising Golden Corral would be open on Thanksgiving, I felt pretty good about still making my meal a real possibility.

I arrived at the restaurant around 5pm. The line wasn’t that long, but the place was pretty packed. Before I could start thinking about what exactly I wanted to eat, I heard this chick coming before I saw her. A girl came around the line asking customers how many people they had in their party. Now, she may have been aggravating because she was so loud.  But something immediately tensed up within me and I did not want to be outed as a person rolling solo on Thanksgiving!
The real question is….. why is that a problem? Hell, Ive eat out solo all the time! Ive even passed my solo restauranteur swagg to a good friend of mine who is now comfortable with rolling solo herself.

I know why its a problem. Because its Thanksgiving! You are supposed to be surrounded for better or worse with people you love and love to hate!
Well, I am turning a new leaf. I have entered into a new ring. I am protesting. Forget breaking bread with folks. I am breaking bread SOLO on a regular basis now. BOOM!

Why I Don’t Do In Laws.

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Soooooooo, my man’s parents are here for Thanksgiving and while I wasn’t exactly “looking forward” to meeting them, I wasn’t opposed to it and had started getting myself mentally prepared for this first time meeting when he told me they were coming—- back in AUGUST. (Yes, I need that long to prepare)

At any rate, they arrived on Tuesday. Didn’t meet them when they came over, but was okay when I received a phone call from his sister saying his dad wanted to meet me the next day and asking what time I would be home. After I hung up from this conversation, I got another phone call from  her number and answered….. only to find myself speaking to his DAD directly. And while I told him that I was disappointed for missing him the previous day (which I was- I wanted to get it over with). I was hit with a slightly different conversation. His dad proceeds to go OFF on me.

Yes, you read that right. The father of my beloved, an old man I had NEVER met, who doesn’t know me from Adam, proceeded to GO OFF on me. About what? About the condition of MY HOUSE. Yep, that’s right folks. This complete stranger, who served as kin to my partner, called me to go off about the way I keep my house. Smh. See, he doesn’t know that I don’t have NO problem fighting old people.

This is why I don’t do in-laws!!!

Let me give you my full list of why I DON”T DO IN LAWS:

1. They don’t know their place. They make comments, suggestions and give input on stuff that has nothing to do with them. STAY IN YOUR LANE IN LAW!

2. They don’t know you and your mental place, which is why they make decisions that could be potentially life threatening to them. Nobody can really blame you if you grab the knife in the turkey and start stabbing folks up right??? They don’t know how many months or years you spent in counseling trying to cope!!

3. They REALLY don’t give a damn about you!!! All you people talking about “my sister in law is my bff, i just love his mother, i just love his cousins”. One word: SETUP. Their #1 and #2 primary concern, interests and support is designated for THEIR family!! Not your ass! Duh!

4. They too damn nosy!Privacy is NOT the name of their game. They will do whatever is necessary to get all up in your business. Even pretending like your friend. Don’t fall for it.

5. They don’t know when to stop. Give them an inch and they will take a whole damn stadium. In laws overstep their bounds ALL THE TIME.

Now, while my list may seem harsh…. understand it’s coming from a loving and tender place. You see, I LOVE you. And I give a DAMN about you. I don’t want you to make the same mistakes I’ve made. A long time ago, I was bamboozled by in-laws. I had to learn a lesson the hard way, and after that…. I set out on a mission to keep other poor, defenseless partners from making the same error. We must unite. Take on the mantra that I have an join the “I don’t do in-laws” movement. Learn to complete let go of your desire for these people to like you and trust me, you will feel so much better about being able to say what you feel freely to them and around them without ANY restrictions. BOOM!