Tag Archives: atlanta

Day 2, Pole Dance Class.

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Last night, I abandoned my 2 children and my man to go to the dance studio for classes. Ordinarily, I would only be interested in pole class, but they were offering a free ballet class so, I thought “Is ballet only for skinny tall white girls with long necks? No, its 2013 all sizes welcome!” and whisked my large, short, brown, mommy of 2 self on in.

Fortunately there was only ONE other person in the class, so that made me really comfortable. Anyhow, took the class, enjoyed it and then proceeded to wait for the pole class to begin.

The class that I’m taking is at Vertical Joe’s Fitness Studio in Atlanta. I decided to take it because of the owner, Fiya Starta. I saw her on a video a couple years ago spinning on a pole upside down and thought, “Wow, she’s amazing… I could so totally do that”. Riiiiight, now 2 years later I’m in her class looking crazy.

I’ve been a little coy about the class and all because after taking my first class I realized this &$%@ is hard! Its no joke out here on the pole. I’m from Atlanta and been to a fair share of strip clubs and these women make it look amazing and easy! They prance around in their heels, climb the poles effortlessly and make it look sexy at the same damn time. After taking my first class, I wanted to slap all of the women I’ve seen at the strip club for making me think it would be as easy as heating up hot dogs.

But, sometime last year I really DECIDED that before I turned 30 years old, I would, ONCE AND FOR ALL, lose weight and climb a stripper pole to the top.

So, last night was day 2 on this OFFICIAL adventure….

Actually, last night was much better than the first few times I worked with a pole. Usually trying to mount the pole is like a mini fight. I usually come out feeling like Ive accomplished something, but I’ve banged up a shin or elbow in the process, so I come out needing ice and a hug. This time around however, other than the pain in my ‘pole meat’ as Ms. Joe calls it, which is the fat part in between your legs used to grip the pole, I felt pretty darn good! I was actually able to do my spins successfully, a pass out, basic spin and a basic slide. And, I think I ALMOST climbed an INCH!

Whooooo-hooooooooooo! Can you tell them dancers at Magic City and Onyx to watch out?!

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So back to class again on Wednesday. I may need like 232489734792834 more classes, but I have taken 2 OFFICIAL classes think I will be able to conquer this thing by August!

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Why I Don’t Do In Laws.

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Soooooooo, my man’s parents are here for Thanksgiving and while I wasn’t exactly “looking forward” to meeting them, I wasn’t opposed to it and had started getting myself mentally prepared for this first time meeting when he told me they were coming—- back in AUGUST. (Yes, I need that long to prepare)

At any rate, they arrived on Tuesday. Didn’t meet them when they came over, but was okay when I received a phone call from his sister saying his dad wanted to meet me the next day and asking what time I would be home. After I hung up from this conversation, I got another phone call from  her number and answered….. only to find myself speaking to his DAD directly. And while I told him that I was disappointed for missing him the previous day (which I was- I wanted to get it over with). I was hit with a slightly different conversation. His dad proceeds to go OFF on me.

Yes, you read that right. The father of my beloved, an old man I had NEVER met, who doesn’t know me from Adam, proceeded to GO OFF on me. About what? About the condition of MY HOUSE. Yep, that’s right folks. This complete stranger, who served as kin to my partner, called me to go off about the way I keep my house. Smh. See, he doesn’t know that I don’t have NO problem fighting old people.

This is why I don’t do in-laws!!!

Let me give you my full list of why I DON”T DO IN LAWS:

1. They don’t know their place. They make comments, suggestions and give input on stuff that has nothing to do with them. STAY IN YOUR LANE IN LAW!

2. They don’t know you and your mental place, which is why they make decisions that could be potentially life threatening to them. Nobody can really blame you if you grab the knife in the turkey and start stabbing folks up right??? They don’t know how many months or years you spent in counseling trying to cope!!

3. They REALLY don’t give a damn about you!!! All you people talking about “my sister in law is my bff, i just love his mother, i just love his cousins”. One word: SETUP. Their #1 and #2 primary concern, interests and support is designated for THEIR family!! Not your ass! Duh!

4. They too damn nosy!Privacy is NOT the name of their game. They will do whatever is necessary to get all up in your business. Even pretending like your friend. Don’t fall for it.

5. They don’t know when to stop. Give them an inch and they will take a whole damn stadium. In laws overstep their bounds ALL THE TIME.

Now, while my list may seem harsh…. understand it’s coming from a loving and tender place. You see, I LOVE you. And I give a DAMN about you. I don’t want you to make the same mistakes I’ve made. A long time ago, I was bamboozled by in-laws. I had to learn a lesson the hard way, and after that…. I set out on a mission to keep other poor, defenseless partners from making the same error. We must unite. Take on the mantra that I have an join the “I don’t do in-laws” movement. Learn to complete let go of your desire for these people to like you and trust me, you will feel so much better about being able to say what you feel freely to them and around them without ANY restrictions. BOOM!

What do you worry about?

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Started August 14th……

I have been extremely worried about my next move. While I am cool on the outside, on the inside the Jameelionaire within is screaming INCOME AUTO PILOT HOE! I need to find a way to make the money I am destined to make. Not that I am obsessed with making money. I am obsessed with being able to live a fulfilling life the way I want to live it and being in control of my destiny.

As a parent, I don’t have many worries where my children are concerned. In 2 years my daughter will be headed to middle school and I want her to be ok with making new friends< participating in after school clubs and groups, etc. We are in the process of trying to figure out where we can live in the Virginia Highlands. Yes, it is ambitious because Virginia Highlands is one of the most expensive places to live in the Metro Atlanta area.

Okay, update. No longer interested in moving to the VH, my daughter is now at a Magnet school that I am very comfortable with.